It is near the end of February and I truly hope you’re enjoying the process of internalizing the passage you’re working on right now. This month, I wanted to share a personal struggle that can quietly creep in while memorizing Scripture.
Recently, I’ve been revisiting my WHY behind Scripture memory. I’ve learned it’s important for me to reevaluate that often, especially because I’m someone who thrives on checklists and the satisfaction of marking something complete. I’m not against that at all; honestly, it’s how I stay productive at home and get things done. But when it comes to memorizing Scripture, I have to pause and ask myself: Am I truly internalizing this or am I just memorizing it to “get it done” and check the box? If I’m being honest, this is a real struggle for me and I suspect it always will be.
So, as I was creating YouTube and podcast content for Psalm 139, I started out excited and eager to dig deep. But as time went on, I noticed my enthusiasm and discipline fading. Instead of lingering and digging in further, I caught myself just trying to check the box on my preplanned content. (I’m not someone who procrastinates. I actually prefer to get things done early and stick to the plan I’ve laid out.) But somewhere along the way, even though I was uncovering beautiful truths about God and His relationship with us, something didn’t feel quite right.
That’s when the hard questions kept surfacing:
Am I using my time wisely? (Thank you, Ephesians 5:15-16)
Am I more focused on producing content than on meditating on the verse itself?
Am I seeking the approval of others?
Am I making time for my family?
Am I praying?
These were hard questions for me to think through and I’d encourage you to ask them of yourself too. For me, questions like these usually surface when the Holy Spirit is nudging my heart to bring conviction or to redirect me entirely. Maybe you’ve experienced this too as you are internalizing scripture or maybe in another area of your life?
Right now, I’m sensing that it may be time to step back, at least a little, from focusing primarily on creating content. I want to lean more fully into being available for my family and also mentor and walk alongside ladies that have been placed in my life, sharing life together, and hiding God’s Word in our hearts in a more personal, intentional way.
You will continue to see posts for Psalm 139 until we finish. After this Psalm my focus on this blog will be knowing God's word through scripture memory by studying it and applying it to life in general with the intent of pointing you to Him who is over all things.
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